Total Fit Boss Chick - Entrepreneurship, Mindset, and Lifestyle

Winning Tactics: How to Gain Clarity, Show Up Authentically, and Stop Doing All the Things!

Episode Summary

I’m your host Brentney Parks and joining me today is entrepreneurial coach Danica Nèe Pierce. We’re going to be discussing how she learned to stop doing all the things in her business, gain clarity, and show up authentically. Even though I quote, she was so uncomfortable it made her want to poop her pants and barf at the same.

Episode Notes

Learn to get past blaming:

And get real with:

Who is Danica?
Danica Pierce is a coach and podcaster helping stuck and burnt out business owners become vibrant, fierce, and wildly abundant CEOs.  She is changing the world and having tons of fun (and earning way more than she ever has before). She gets to work with her dream clients every single day and help them exceed their income goals and fall back in love with their lives.
Instagram @elevatewithdanica
Twitter @elevatewdanica
Facebook @elevatewithdanica

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Episode Transcription

NOTE: Please enjoy this podcast AI transcript. Please forgive any typos or errors.


Welcome to the Total Fit Boss Chick Podcast. I'm your host Brentney Parks, and joining me today is entrepreneurial coach Danica.

Norton. Discussing how she learned to stop doing all the things in her business, gain clarity, and show up authentically. Even though I quote, she was so uncomfortable that it made her want to poop her pants and Barf at the same time.


So I have to tell you, you are the queen of IG stories. You show up so authentically. It's, it's just amazing how you do that.

So let's just get right into it. How can our listeners do what you did when you learn how to get past blaming the economy, the. strategy, experience inabilities, lack of time, money, and how are you able to get real with your lack of confidence, trust, addiction to the struggle, and that good old relationship with money? How'd you get that straight?


I think it ultimately just comes down to taking responsibility for yourself, right? Because it is so easy to blame things.

Right now, especially the economy. You have all these people panicking about the potential state of the economy, or you have people blaming , Oh, it's because the strategy didn't work, or because this person didn't teach me the right strategy, I'm just not good with people, or I'm just not good at stories.

Whatever it is. Or I don't have the time. I don't have the money. at the end of the day, all of these are our stories. and the stories that you choose to align yourself with are the stories that do become your reality. So if you're waking up in the morning like, Oh, my business isn't going to do well, then that's exactly what's going to happen.

Not because the economy sucks, but because you've already decided that that's what the result is going to be before you've even done anything about it because you create that reality for yourself and. the same thing happens with the strategies or your abilities. If you decide that you're not good at social media and that it's going to be a struggle for you, then that's absolutely going to be true, right?

It's just about taking responsibility for what you choose to believe. Because why you choose to believe becomes your reality and you have to make a decision, right? It's like what? Are you going to attach yourself to these stories that are limiting to you or are you going to attach yourself to stories that open doors for you?

And once you start to realize like that, all of these things, the economy, your abilities, the strategy, your lack of time or energy, whatever it is, once you realize that these are all just fabrications that you've either made up or they've been fed to you and you've absorbed them subconsciously, and then he starts to realize what the actual things that are in your way are.

And you know, more often than not, these are your lack of confidence in yourself, your lack of trust in yourself, especially your addiction to the struggle and yeah. your relationship with money is , in my opinion, it's the key. Like that's what really what everything boils down to because your relationship with money is what dictates how you perceive your own value, how you show up or how confidently you show up and you know what you think is possible for you.


Right. So what do you mean by your relationship with money?


We want money. I want money. You want money? We all love money. From basically from the time we're born, we're fed these beliefs about money, right? About earning money is hard or it takes a very long time to earn money, or you have to do certain things in order to earn money, or only certain calibers of people earn money,

so it, depending on maybe your political affiliation or just the culture you grew up in, these are going to be slightly different. a very common belief, for example, is that only greedy people want money or that wealthy people are just not of good character, and so then we say, yeah, we want money, but then we're subconsciously resisting that because of what we believe about money and that. 

You know, our beliefs around money and how we feel about money is what dictates our relationship with money. It's the same with a person. If you have these subconscious beliefs about a person that they're going to make you inherently bad or whatever it is, then yeah, you're going to have a bad relationship with it and it's not going to come to you as easily.


Gotcha. Wow. So basically it's all about mindset, right?


yeah, that really is the core of it, no matter what your, if you're talking about sales, if you're talking about, you know, having a good relationship, if you're talking about, just doing well in general, it all is going to come down to your mindset and your perception of things in what you choose to believe.

Gotcha. Because that. You know, and that really will dictate your reality, right? Like if you live your whole life believing that you're not good at running, then the first time you try to go jogging is going to be awful. Because you've already decided that that's the truth and your body is going to absorb that and your body is going to be like, Oh, this is going to be terrible and it's going to be an awful jug, and you're probably never going to want to do it again.

Or like, you know, you decide that you're not going to basketball, you're never going to make a, you know, a three-pointer or whatever it is because you're just, you're subconsciously sabotaging yourself and you're not trying and you're resisting. So because you're so attached to the story of, I'm not good at social media, right?

That's a part of your identity. The fact that you don't, he won't want to go on stories because you're not good at social media, you don't get likes because you're not going to social media. You have attached yourself to the story. This story becomes a part of your identity. And for you to choose to not believe that story and to believe something else, even though it's going to get you closer to the thing you desire.

It means sacrificing a part of yourself and a part of your identity. It's so you're going to be subconsciously resisting that because it means death to part of your ego, which every cell in your body is going to resist that because of this thing that, that you've chosen to believe.


Wow. So what did that look like in your personal life?


I'll keep going with like social media, for example. so going on stories, when I hired my first coach, the first thing she told me was, you need to get your face on stories. And I was like, I was like, absolutely not. She was like, no, you need to go on stories. I don't care if you don't like it, you're going on stories.

And, and it's funny how you opened this up by saying, if you are the queen of stories, and I was like, haha, that's so funny because the very first time I filmed a story like filming myself, it took me 45 minutes to film a four-second video and I was sweating the whole time. Shaking was awful. And I'm like,I was sweating all day afterward.

Just from the filming the four-second story, and literally it was like,


Hey, so like,


it was awful. It was just awful. I struggled for so long to get on stories, and then I was like, you know what? I am tired of this ,like I'm tired of this being a struggle. And so I literally, I took my phone and I walked around the block and I failed myself the whole time.

I was just talking around and I was like, Hey guys, I'm going to film this until it's not awkward anymore. And I literally just did that for like 20 minutes. And after that, going with stories was so much easier.


Wow. I went to your first story and I watched, your about me story, or my story is actually what you have it listed as, and I just loved it.

It was so authentic and it was just great to just kind of see you go through that journey and see your growth, and , you are now the queen of IG story.


That's a great compliment. Thank you.


Yes, yes, you're welcome. So , now that you've told us, you know how to kind of let go of ourselves in our limited thinking and that we just need to get real, we need to know how do we get crystal clear and know what we need to do?

How do you find that clarity.


I think it's a mix , there are things that you aren't going to know, like for example, you know, when it comes to like certain strategies and things like that, right? So it's being able to ask for help or being willing to ask for help on things is extremely important,

admitting where you need support, that's the first half. But then the flip side to that is knowing when to look inside yourself for the support that you're looking for in other people.


Whoa. Did you just say, look inside of yourself for what you need for support in other people?


Yeah, because a lot of the time, like there are certain things that you're not, like, you're not going to magically learn like a funnel.

But at the same time, we depend, you know, it's like, Oh look, I'm not going to get sales unless I know how to do funnels. So it's just learning to lean on your intuition, because we're pretty much programmed to completely disregard our intuition or because we don't trust ourselves, we don't trust ourselves to know what's best.

Right, right. Because we force ourselves to do things that are uncomfortable or that just don't feel good to us. And yes, it's good. A certain degree of uncomfortableness is always good because otherwise you're not going to grow, right. But then when you're actually molding who you are as a person, two train, like get these results, that's, you know, obviously, that's not good either because you're just, you're not going to get results and you're not going to be happy.

And so it's just a matter of like looking. In on yourself and seeing like what that inner compass is telling you to do. Right. And like figuring out what is going to feel good to you, because what feels good to you is what's going to work for you.


So figuring out what feels good to you helps you find your clarity.


Yeah. Because you know, you. Like we're programmed to believe that we don't know what's best for us, and so we're looking out there and all of the roads, all of the signs are there. All of the paths know the path is already there. We're just like, Nope, that's not it. That's clearly not it. I don't know it like I don't know what's best for me.

I think that this is it, but I don't believe it, and so I'm going to look over here for this but the actual, road that we're meant to be taking is there. And so to get that clarity, it's just a matter of trusting that gut feeling of where to go or like what to do next.


Gotcha. So how do you get away from doing all the things? Because I know when you first got started, you were doing everything before you got your coach. But I mean, now I will have to say you have an unfair advantage because you know, illustration, you are a web developer, web designer. You do copy and communication.

I mean. You are a full force agency. So, so how did you say with all of these skills and all these talents, how did you say, I need a coach? Well,


I think the biggest thing was just me getting out of my own way because, yeah, I have, I worked in online marketing for about seven years. That's my online marketing experience.

Also branding, graphic design. But like I said, like illustration, web design. I tried to be a web developer at one point, but I realized I hate coding and I want nothing to do with it. So I mean, I did build my own website, so you know that. That's cool.


That's great.


it's like, I think it was just at the end of the day, like not feeling obligated to my skills.

Because just because you're good at something doesn't mean that you're obligated to use it or to share it with the world, right? Because, Oh yeah, I'll try to do all the things. I was like, well, I know how to do this. I know how to do this. I know how to do this. I know how to do this, so therefore, clearly this is the right way to go.

Right. Wow. Yeah. It turns out that was not the right way to go, just because I knew how to do Facebook ads just because I knew how to write copy just because I knew how to write emails, just because I knew how to do social media. I have several certifications in social media marketing that doesn't mean anything, to be honest with you.

Like it really doesn't. And, but I felt like because I had all this knowledge and all these certifications and all of this background and these skills and all this experience, that I was obligated to carry all of that with me. And so I had all of these things that I was trying to cover all at once because I was like, well, obviously why wouldn't I be trying to do these things.

And then, yeah, I got to a point where I was doing all the things and none of it was sticking. None of it was sticking out. I would put out a challenge. No one would sign up. I put in an offer, nobody signed up. I was getting absolutely zero traction and I couldn't get over myself cause I was like, well, I'm doing all these things.

I'm clearly good at all these things. Why is nothing sticking? It's because I was spreading myself so thin thinking I had to be obligated to all of these things to try and get this one pipe dream that I wanted to have and yeah, at that point I was like, okay, like clearly I'm missing something.

And so I got over myself and I hired a coach, so I was like, okay, clearly I'm not as good as something that I thought it was, or clearly I'm missing something that I don't know about. it was definitely a humbling experience for me because I went into it guns blazing, thinking that would be an instant success because I have online marketing experience and I have sales experience, so I have business experience.

Clearly that didn't happen and it was a matter of not being obligated to those like those skills. That really was what allowed me to actually focus on just one thing, right? she got me to abandon all of my other social media platforms with my blog, my website, everything, and only focus on Instagram for three months.


Really, really? That's powerful.


Yeah. It was extremely difficult for me cause I was like, oh, I'm multi-passionate. And she was like, yeah, how's that working out for you? No, not very well. So she pretty much forced me to just focus on one thing. And to hone my skills on one thing and to use that platform to the fullest extent, which included stories because what I was doing is I was doing everything.

I was good at, everything that was comfortable at, and so only utilizing a quarter of each platform doing what I was comfortable and skilled at doing instead of going all-in on one thing and being uncomfortable with aspects of it that I wasn't skilled


at. Gotcha, gotcha.


it was basically, dropping everything else and going all-in on one thing and really finding my boundaries.


Yes, yes, yes. That was so powerful. And when I say that I know that our listeners are at the edge of their seat now because this is real, because we've all kind of gotten caught up in doing all the things, but you saying and giving us permission to say, yes, stop.

Focus in on the one thing and go all in is huge. So with that being said, I want to do our interactive segment and I want to post. So if you're listening to this in real-time, I want you to go to the IG stories on the Total Fit Boss Chick. Instagram account and we're going to have a couple of poll questions there and we are going to ask yes or no.

Are you doing all the things are, are you going all-in on the one thing? So we're going to put that there. If you're not listening to this in real-time, it will be in the highlights under the poll questions. So Danica I'm going to be tagging you on these, so I want you to see the responses and the results from this, because what you said was so powerful.

I wanted to ask you before we get into the mentoring moments segment, our firing round is now that you've given us all these tips, how do we show up authentic? So you went on the stories. How did you show up as you, and how did you know who you were.


So really the thing that changed everything for me was I just stopped caring.

I got to a point where I was just I was done performing and worrying about how my face looked and whether or not people looked at it. And I got to a point where I was just like, you know what? I am done. Caring, I'm just going to do whatever I want and people are just going to deal with it.

You don't have to. Same thing happened with my content as well. I got to a point. Where I was like, I am so done scheduling posts and planning out my themes and planning out my pillars and all the stuff that I teach other people how to do. Like back when I, I used to focus a lot more on business strategy and social media marketing and all of that.

all that stuff that I taught people how to do. I was sick of it. I was sick of it and I was like, I want nothing to do with this. I stopped caring about what people thought of my content and. Honestly, that is when everything just blew up. Like I think I gained like a thousand followers in a month.

Like not even kidding, like


just stop caring.


I just stopped caring and my like, my engagement rate just continues to go up and I barely, I'll be honest, I put barely any effort into my content, so I'm just like, I don't care what people think about this. I'm just, you know, really pretty much my content strategy.

I just sit for a second and I'm like, alright, what do I want to say today? What message wants to come through me? And that's what I post.


So are you coming up with what you want to say every day? Are you scheduling? Are you batching? How are you doing this? You just, this is how I'm feeling and this is what I'm going to say.


Yeah. Yep. So, sometimes I'll have like a bunch of bins. Like I've been doing a lot more like graphics lately, just cause it's so much easier than like finding a photo and taking all the pictures and all that. so I just, if I'm feeling inspired, I'll make like a bunch of graphics and I'll throw them into my scheduler.

Or maybe I'll just like make one off the fly. I'm like, you know what, I feel like saying this today, it'll make like a really quick graphic, right? Like literally sometimes I'll just write out a note in my notes app and take a screenshot and then post that. Like I just put in as little effort as possible and, or like, if I feel like I should post something, then I'll look in my, in my, like my scheduler.

I'll see if anything calls out to me if nothing calls out to me on the go. I guess I'm not posting today. So you're


not posting every day?


No, I just, sometimes I post every day like I'll go a week everyday posting. Sometimes I'll post like once a week. I usually will go on stories every day, varying amounts.

But really my philosophy is if I don't feel like showing up, I'm not going to show up because otherwise, the energy is just going to be weird. And that's pretty much my whole content strategy. I just show up in a way that makes me feel like I'm having fun showing up. And that's literally it.

I do have an advantage in the sense that I have a lot of training around social media and all that. So a lot of it's innate and the way that I write captions and you know, all of that stuff. So I definitely would have an advantage over someone who has absolutely zero social media knowledge.

I would not recommend someone who has zero social media knowledge just doing whatever. Because you never know what people are gonna react with, Like you could have the best content strategy in the world, and the thing that sells out your program could be like one stupid tweet, right?

Like you have no idea. So my philosophy is just to have fun with things and just do whatever, see what happens. Just approach it with a sense of curiosity and just being aligned with what makes you feel good and what your most, authentic expression is. And then just stopping, stop caring about how people react to it.


Gotcha. if you don't have the background, should you post every day? If you don't have that super-duper background, like you have to, do, you post every day even though you don't feel like showing up, but just because you don't have the experience, what do you do there?


I would say if you, if the thought of opening Instagram or your schedule, it makes you want to throw up, don't do it. If you're just so, like, there are going to be days where you're just so done with social media, honor that feeling. But, let's say like if you have a goal of like trying to grow your accounts or something, right?

Just set whatever your like energetic minimum is. So it's like, every single day I'm going to go on and I'm gonna, you know, do these three things and I'm going to post a photo, whatever it is, right? Just decide what the energetic minimum is based on what your goals are. And you know, based on things like, like, you know, the algorithm likes it when you post every day, things like that.

But at the end of the day, if you just don't feel like doing it. Then just then don't, because the energy of it being forced is going to backfire everything that you do. Right? Right. Regardless of your experience, regardless of your backgrounds, like if you have a bunch of posts like scheduled and it's going to take you five minutes to go with it and schedule them, then yeah, go ahead and do that.

But if you're actually sitting there and you're filming yourself at the moment, or you're writing content. Or you're engaging, you're interacting with people, comments, DMS, whatever, and then just don't force it because it's going to be weird and it's going to, like, people are going to sense that energy and it's going to backfire every single time.


When it comes to connecting with a customer, with your ideal client. there's a vanity metrics out there right.


Oh yeah. Like people will say things like, you know, your engagement rate should be like six to 20% or, you should, you know, hit your email. Open rates should be around 20%, or, you should have

however many likes per post or whatever, but at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter because, yeah, like more visibility means more potential for more people to see your posts and therefore more clients. Right. Of course, that's true, but at the end of the day, all it takes is one person to see that post and to resonate with it, for it to be successful.

I've had, it happened where I put one post in a Facebook group. Someone saw that post. She immediately went to my Instagram profile and she applied for my private coaching, like within a day, and it was because. I was just, I posted something and ironically enough, the post was the energy of it being easy.

It's more powerful than any strategy. That was like a graphic that I posted in a group somewhere and


I love that


he resonated with that and she, she wanted to work with me because of the energy of that post, just the energy that I brought with it. And if I had forced those posts, if I had been like, okay, I have to write the caption in this way, I have to add these hashtags.

Like if I had made it into such a big deal, then the energy would have been super weird and no one would have wanted anything to do with it. But because that one person resonated with that post, I got a client. There you




That's all it takes. That's all it takes. It's just one person and it's so easy to get caught up in more people, more people, more people.

But more people don't matter. Right? If the, it doesn't matter if 200,000 people see your post and the energy is all weird, not a single one of them is going to become a


client. Right? Right. Yes. Your people are your people. Exactly. That's what that is. Okay. Well, that is excellent. do you realize what you're giving us here?

It's total fire, but let me ask you just to give us an actionable recap of our conversation. What can we do? How do we show up authentic and how do we move forward, gain clarity, and stop doing all the things in our business? How can we just sum that whole thing up in a cute little




alright, so to summarize all of that, stop forcing yourself to do things. Just because you think they'll get your results or because someone else has told you they'll get your results or because you feel pressured to do it in order to get, you know, to get a result. Right? Because that's how you end up doing all the things.

That's how you end up burning out. That's how I ended up hating showing up because you're doing things that you don't like Because you somehow think that you need to do things you don't like in order to earn this dream that you have. Or you could decide that you can work on the sh that really matters and just do the things that you like doing, right?

Because that is what it's going to get you results a lot more quickly because the energy of you just working on being your best self and showing up as your best self and doing things that you like, that is going to be infinitely more powerful than anything else you could possibly do regardless of your background or your metrics or

whatever it is that you think you need to carry with you in order to succeed.


we are so grateful that you've come on to the shell we have to thank you also because Danica is not just on the show giving us the real and showing us how to show up.

She's also going to be putting a deposit into the freebie library. She is, She is giving our listeners free access to her guided meditation on identifying and removing inner blocks. Huge. So all you have to do is go to

total fit boss and access the freebie library on the home page and you'll open the door to the ever-growing library of actionable tools. So we are right here at our mentoring moments.

Since you lit our fire, we're going to keep it going. So this is our lightning round and our lightning round is a mentoring moment segment. This is where I've fired some thought-provoking random questions so Danica can provide some advice. Like only she can.


I am.


All right. It's so funny. You guys are to see her. She's like rocking back and forth. I love it. I love it. Okay, so what do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?


I wish I'd spent more time working on myself. As opposed to just trying to manipulate my outside circumstances to get me where I wanted to go.



That's good. I think we all can take a look at that. How do you know when it's time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do it.


You just learn to listen to your gut and you'll know when it's time, you will get the message when it's time. It's just a matter of learning how to trust yourself before it happens.


How do you learn how to trust yourself?


so pretty much just start with the small things, right? For example, if you're in line in Starbucks and you're trying to decide whether you want a tea or a coffee, look within and see if you can hear, your intuition telling you what it is that you want or your body telling you what it wants,

just start with really, small things like that. And then eventually you're going to learn what that, trust me, it's in what that voice means and whether or not that voice is coming from a place of fear or from a place of excitement. You'll learn to trust the voice that's coming from the excitement that only comes with practice.

Starting with the small things and moving up to the larger things. I


love that. Now, how do you get yourself back on track once you've been derailed?


just looking in doing maybe a grounding exercise, like some deep breathing or sitting in nature, something that makes you feel good as something that makes you feel calm and then just remember why you're here,

remember what your big goal is, what your big why is right. Why you're here to serve, what impact you're meant to have. And then, thinking about when I've reached this big goal, is this thing going to matter? No. Right? And kind of, approach it from a sense of what is the bigger picture here?

Why am I here?


That was some good stuff. So thank you for being on the show. We're so glad you joined us today. Now, how can everybody get in contact with you


so you can, of course, go to my website, elevate with You can also find me on Instagram at Elevate with Danica.

You can find me on Twitter, elevate with Danica because they apparently don't like you having a handle that is longer than that amount of characters. So whatever. And yeah, basically that's where I hang out is, Oh, also on YouTube, just YouTube elevate with Dannika. you can reach me pretty much at any one of those hangout



So, anybody that's looking for entrepreneurial coaching, they could check you out, and you can fix them right up, right?


Oh yeah. I highly recommend it.


Okay, sure. Yes, yes,